In What World Are Mocktails Worth $22?

Let me start here. I love a good mocktail. Give me a cute glass, fresh citrus, a sugar rim, maybe a little smoke for drama. I am here for the experience. But baby. In what world are mocktails worth twenty two dollars?

Because that is exactly where DC has landed.

Somewhere between rooftop season, overpriced brunches, and menu fonts getting skinnier, mocktails quietly crept into luxury territory. And the internet is finally dragging it into the light.

Threads Said, Yall Are Absolutely Wild

If you have been on Threads lately, you already know the conversation is loud. One post that sent people into orbit said:

“Making a mocktail the same price as a cocktail is diabolical. Just give me the liquor on the side and I’ll find a use for it.”

And the comments did not stop there. Another person asked what everybody else was thinking:

“Why is my juice $22 and my friend tequila drink for the same price?”

Another post that racked up thousands of likes put it even plainer:

“I respect mocktail culture I really do… BUT paying $22 for basically a cup of sugar is inane to me.”

Thousands of likes later and the verdict was in. The people are tired.

Nobody is mad at the mocktail movement. We love options. We love choice. We love being able to be outside without alcohol being the main character. What people are mad at is the audacity of the pricing.

Because let us be clear. Most of these drinks are:

Juice
Syrup
Herbs
Sparkling water
Ice
A cute name

And somehow that combo is ringing up the same as top shelf liquor.

The math is not mathing.

DC Is in Its Luxury Delusion Era

DC has always been expensive. We accept that as part of the entry fee. Parking will hurt your feelings. Brunch will break your spirit. A casual night out easily turns into a $200 situation. But mocktails crossing the $20 mark feels personal.

Especially when:

Rent is high
Groceries are high
Daycare is high
Therapy is high
Life is high

Now the juice is high too?

At this point it feels like restaurants are charging for the idea of wellness and not the actual ingredients.

Wellness Is Not Supposed to Feel Like Punishment

Here is the part people are not saying enough. A lot of folks choosing mocktails are doing it for real reasons.

Pregnancy
Sobriety
Mental health
Fitness goals
Trauma
Medication
Just not feeling like drinking

And now the reward for choosing your health is being quietly punished at the register?

That does not feel like inclusivity. That feels like a tax.

The Experience Argument Is Getting Old

Yes, ambiance matters. Yes, presentation matters. Yes, creativity matters. But at some point, a dehydrated orange wheel and a rosemary sprig cannot justify $22.

Especially when the person next to me ordered a real cocktail with premium liquor for the same price.

We are not asking for five dollar mocktails. We are just asking for reasonable pricing that reflects what is actually in the glass.

DC, We Gotta Chill

I love this city. I love our rooftops. I love our hotel bars. I love our creative menus and overachieving bartenders. But the mocktail inflation is officially out of control.

Because if I am paying $22 for a non alcoholic drink, I should at least be able to:

Read my future in the foam
Get home safely teleporting
Wake up with zero life problems
And receive a follow up text the next morning asking how I am feeling

Until then, yall gotta relax.

The Real Question Still Stands

In what world are mocktails worth $22?

Because it is starting to feel like the Twilight Zone with garnish.

And DC, we love you. But the people are watching. And Threads is not letting this one slide.