Jordan Madison of Therapy Is JAM Shares 5 Dating Tips for the DMV Ahead of Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is for the lovers. But if you’re single, February 14 can feel less like a celebration and more like a reminder of your relationship status.

And let’s be honest, dating is already hard. Dating in the DMV? That’s a different level.

Between the political climate, the cost of living, ambitious career schedules, and the… interesting personalities floating around the dating pool, finding love in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia can feel like a full-time job.

So we tapped Jordan Madison, LCMFT, founder and CEO of Therapy Is My JAM, to give DMV singles some grounded advice ahead of the Day of Love.

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Madison is a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist serving clients in D.C. and Maryland. Her brand, Therapy Is My JAM, has built a community of more than 15,000 Instagram followers, where she shares insight from her work as a therapist, yoga instructor, and dating host. Simply put, she understands both the emotional and practical sides of modern dating.

Here are her top five tips for navigating dating in the DMV.

1. Be Intentional About Who You’re Dating

In a culture that pushes casual everything, intentional dating can feel almost rebellious.

“Our society makes you feel like if you’re single, you should just be casual, date anybody, go outside, and have fun,” Madison says. “But if that’s not who you are or that doesn’t work for you, own that. Be intentional about who you want to date.”

Not everyone wants a situationship. Not everyone enjoys dating just to pass time. If you’re looking for something meaningful, say that. Move like that. Filter accordingly.

Intentionality saves time and protects your energy, especially in a fast-paced area like the DMV.

2. Remember There Are Other Forms of Love

Valentine’s Day markets romantic love heavily. But that’s not the only love worth celebrating.

“Valentine’s Day is about love,” Madison explains. “There are other forms of love besides romantic love. Try to focus on the aspects of love that you do have in your life instead of just what you feel like you lack.”

Friendships. Family. Community. Mentorship. Spiritual connection.

If you’re single, this is a chance to pour into those relationships instead of letting the holiday magnify what isn’t there yet.

3. Self-Love Doesn’t Replace the Desire for Romantic Love

There’s a common message floating around that if you just “love yourself enough,” you won’t crave partnership.

Madison pushes back on that idea.

“Owning that desire and giving yourself grace is important,” she says. “Maybe think about it, journal it out, create a list of the type of love you desire.”

She even suggests getting creative. “Something I recently started doing was creating a playlist of songs that embody how I want to be loved. Figure out how you can show that love to yourself while you wait for your person.”

You can practice self-love and still want romantic love. Both can exist at the same time.

4. Go Outside (But Redefine What That Means)

We’ve all joked about wanting our future spouse to magically appear in our living room. Madison laughs at that idea too.

“I would love for my future husband to appear in my house,” she says. “That’s probably not going to happen. Go outside.”

But outside doesn’t have to mean the club or a crowded bar.

“Get fresh air. Do things you genuinely enjoy by yourself. Go on solo dates. You might meet people with similar interests. You might meet new friends who introduce you to your person.”

The goal isn’t to hunt for a spouse at every event. It’s to expand your world. In a city full of transplants and professionals, widening your circles increases your chances naturally.

5. Find Your Community

Being single can feel isolating, especially when it seems like everyone else is getting engaged.

“Being very single can feel isolating,” Madison says. “But you are definitely not alone. Everyone has their own race. You don’t need to compare yourself to other people’s journeys.”

Comparison is especially dangerous in the DMV, where success, milestones, and life stages often feel accelerated.

“Surround yourself with people who may be in similar walks of life. Being in community can help with those feelings of isolation.”

In other words, build your tribe while you build your love life.

The Truth About Relationships on the Other Side

As a marriage and family therapist in the DMV, Madison also sees what happens after people couple up. And her insight might surprise you.

“I think those who aren’t in relationships desire to be in one,” she says. “But those in relationships can also feel alone. Their relationships aren’t always what they thought they would be.”

Her reminder? “The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Try to find joy and contentment in the stage of life you’re in.”

Single or partnered, fulfillment starts within.

Want to Meet Jordan (and Maybe Someone Special)?

If you’re in the DMV and ready to expand your dating options, Madison also hosts events for Jigsaw Dating around the D.C. area. If you’d like to attend and take her advice to “go outside,” you can use her code Jordanhost10 for a discounted ticket.

You can also catch her yoga classes on Mondays and Wednesdays at Peace in Movement, a Black-owned yoga studio in downtown Silver Spring, Maryland. The studio offers aerial yoga, mat yoga, and pole classes.

And for fans of Black cinema, Madison is hosting a special event on February 21 to celebrate the 30th anniversary of Waiting to Exhale. The evening at Greenbelt Theater will include a screening of the classic film followed by a panel discussion with DMV-based therapists.

Because whether you’re single or partnered, love, community, and healing are always in style.