Written By: Rob Hill Sr.
“Unhappy people are stuck where they are in life because they only know how to redistribute anger… and never learned how to release it.”
For much of my life, I’ve been able to manage my anger pretty well. I haven’t been one of those people flipping tables over because they received bad service. And you won’t see me fist fighting the meter attendant over any parking tickets; my emotions don’t take me that far. Yet regardless of how nice, spiritual, or self-aware a person considers themselves to be. We all still have days where we find ourselves stuck with anger. For me, it happens when I get my hopes up and I’m let down by empty promises. It happens when people I believed to be trustworthy keep the truth from me. And it happens when I ignore my gut for someone else’s opinion. We all have our moments of anger, and we can all learn how to deal with them so that it doesn’t keep us stuck in life.
Anger is a normal human emotion; it’s natural to feel it. It can be a healthy catalyst for change in uncomfortable circumstances. And at times, anger can be good for overcoming bad habits. But if this emotion gets out of control, problems will follow. Anger can become destructive at work, in our relationships, and our spirit. Anger is easy to redistribute because it inspires impulse decisions and rash thinking. With anger, everything is definite, something happens, and there’s no changing it. Our emotions stir up, and we don’t make time to consider a person’s intentions beyond what they did. Anger only wants to do or say something, so they feel what we felt or worse. Unhappy people don’t manage their anger well. They’d rather blame others for their problems. They believe it gives them an excuse to treat others without a care. But anger is not an excuse to be unkind to people in life, whether we are happy or not. Anger shouldn’t make us forget who’s been good to us.
I don’t know many people that enjoy being angry all the time. But I do know the ones who always get angered easily aren’t living a happy life. We can learn ways to release the emotion of anger before redistributing the pain within us. We can learn how to stop and change things about ourselves before repeating our hurt in someone else’s life. Many techniques work for managing anger. Using these three has helped me learn the best way for me to stay balanced and happy.
- Breathe. The act of deep breathing creates space in the lungs and calms the body, so the impulse of anger weakens. Deep breaths, through the nose and out through the mouth, create a space for reflective thinking and meditation. The practice of meditation brings awareness to what’s behind the emotion of anger. So we can process it and release it.
- Exercise. This is number one for me. The past few years, I’ve been on a 65lb weight loss journey. I used to shut down and not want to do much when I became angry. I’d become an emotional eater. Exercising allowed me to create the energy I needed to work on myself. Running, boxing, lifting weights, taking a dance class, or yoga. Find somewhere to sweat out all the toxins and worry. Exercise helps get the body in a more relaxed state. It helps bring emotions back to a calm place.
- Redirect the anger to productivity. “Do something that inspires you.” Read a new book, watch a motivating video, take a nature walk, or my personal favorite- start a journal. It will become the place to share whatever fear, frustration, or pent-up anger we have. And through honest writing, we can release it all. Writing our emotions without shame or judgment is another way to become aware of what’s going on inside.
We are supposed to feel and release emotions, not avoid or keep them in. A lot happens between work, family, and our intimate relationships daily. Sometimes it can be overwhelming. When we feel and release anger, we can use the lessons we keep from the experience as an energizer. Anger is an emotion that churns; it’s there for a reason. It encourages us to do something about the situation at hand. When we don’t deal with anger or the person and situation that caused it, it’s a self-destructive choice. Remember to take a deep breath in heated moments. Make time for exercise on days where your patience feels low. And always redirect your anger into productivity before redistributing it in your world. You can release the things that aren’t in harmony with your happiness. You can be happy without needing everything to go your way. Don’t let anger trick you into believing otherwise.