Shooting Your Shot in Her DM

Portrait of young African-American woman lying in bed, networking on mobile phone and laughing

I know a lot of women who get “love” shown via their DM. Even I have had a few dudes slide in my DM’s a time or two, or ten, and I consider myself somewhat average. I can only imagine what the Instagram models encounter. I’m confident that the thirst is overwhelmingly annoying, so here are my tips for successfully making it go down in the DM. 

1. Test the waters and do “the code.” Oh, you don’t know about the code, huh? When I initially joined IG, I didn’t know about the code either. It took a guy I was dating a few years ago to educate me on the code. (Ladies, this works for us too!) I am no expert and have no official status, but the code is almost foolproof.

So here it is: Go on the person of interest Instagram, like three random pics, and possibly comment. It is essential that they are random and not sequential; otherwise, someone may think you just stumbled on their page and are showing them love rather than strategically doing the “code.” Three will usually suffice, maybe 4 or 5 if they are popular and get a lot of traffic on their page. Regardless, be strategic in the pictures you choose to like and in your comment(s). Then be patient; she will see the love, and if she likes 3 or 4 random pics of yours, BOOM! You are in! Go ahead and send a DM (Disclaimer: If the person is popping on IG, you may have to do the code a second time so that they will actually see the activity). 

2-. Keep it cool. DON’T be a creep! Meaning approach her like you would if you were out in public. Therefore, comments like “you have nice breasts” or “I bet you taste good” or sending the God-awful penis pic should be regarded as inappropriate. Simply say “hello” and show her that you are genuinely interested by complimenting a detail that others may not pick up on. I always get got when someone DM’s me about a particular look I rocked. I know other girls have gotten got by a compliment regarding a change in hairstyle, nail color, etc. 

3. Wait. Now fellas, if she does not respond, do NOT, I repeat, do NOT continue to DM her. Once is enough. She saw it. And if she is otherwise involved or if you said something corny or have a corny picture on your IG that she had previously overlooked, she has already screenshotted, sent it to her closest friends, and laughed about how you were a clown. Your chances are essentially over. Learn from the rejection and shoot your shot elsewhere. 

4. Act.  Should she respond, and the conversation seems as if she may be interested, then go ahead and ask for her number or invite her out to a public and comfortable setting because there no need for a whole lot of back and forth for days and weeks. If she is interested, she is interested.

And there you have it—my tips to successfully sliding in the DMs. Again, I am no expert, just a regular woman with many girlfriends who often discuss these types of things. Good luck to you! 

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