Is there something that you treat yourself to cheer yourself up?
Maybe it’s a favorite TV show or your favorite takeout meal, but whatever it is, it probably makes you feel a little or, even a lot, better at that moment. So, even though you and I both know that watching an episode of Insecure isn’t going to solve the actual issue, a pick-me-up helps you get through the day, and that’s okay. But…the problem arises when you use this approach with your love life.
Being in love won’t solve all your problems.
I know it can seem like a happy relationship will end the negative self-talk in your head, but love isn’t a bandaid. It won’t make any insecurities that you have deep down inside go away. And love won’t magically make you feel 100% okay with yourself.
Because if not loving and respecting yourself is the problem, then getting in a relationship isn’t going to be the pick-me-up you were after. Instead, you’ll just find yourself feeling unfulfilled, except this time, while in a relationship. Great.
The hard truth is, being in a relationship might make life more fun and exciting, but none of that will fix what’s truly going on inside. So it’s all up to you to start showing up for yourself and loving yourself like you mean it. Because when you have self-love, it only opens you up to so much more.
Self-love is the best love.
You can’t expect another human to swoop down and save you from everything. But how about depending on yourself for your own happiness? Imagine how much better you could show up for your loved ones, including a romantic partner, if you were already happy on your own?
The point is, when you have joy and love already within yourself, you’ll feel so much more secure in everything because you aren’t relying on someone else to be your fix.
So, let’s stop looking for lovers to pick us up when we’re down, and instead, let’s learn how to be complete and content all on our own.